So I did something that I never thought I would have the courage to do. First off, I HATE public speaking. Even more so, public speaking on technical topics. Here are some of the self doubt thoughts that go through my head: “What if I don’t know what I’m talking about?”, “What if someone tells me I’m wrong?”, “What if my demo doesn’t work?”, “What if my voice cracks?”. Those and more are all the things that would flood my brain when the thought of speaking at a user group event even briefly entered my mind. But, thanks to the final encouraging push from my friend and mentor Amy Abel, I made the choice to say yes to an opportunity to co-present with her at Utah Day of Data. And let me tell you, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my career.

The Self-Doubting Skeptic

As many of us do in this industry of technology, I suffer from a mild case of impostor syndrome. Simply put, my definition of impostor syndrome is that little voice in your head that tells you you’re not smart enough to be in the same room with the other folks that you view as smarter and more experienced. I’ve been encouraged and told by many people I respect in the industry in the past that I should speak at user groups or other speaking events. I always smiled, and shrugged it off. Not because I didn’t find value in their suggestion to do so, but more plainly due to the fact that I didn’t believe in myself that I could contribute anything meaningful. Why would anyone want to come see me speak? And on top of that, I hate public speaking. Those two thoughts combined always left me discouraged from even trying.

Taking A Chance

Amy has been doing a great job pushing me outside of my comfort zone. I’ve also been pushing myself to say yes to more opportunities. So, when she asked me if I would be interested in volunteering and co-presenting at Day of Data in Utah, I said yes. As soon as I agreed I felt a pit in my stomach. “What the hell did I just agree to do?! You hate public speaking…”

Amy asked what we should present on, and I immediately suggested Distributed Availability Groups. Yes, it’s a deeply technical topic for my very first talk. Not exactly a gentle on-ramp. But it’s a subject I know well, and I felt confident Amy and I could turn it into a great session.

Leading Up To The Big Day

The couple days before we were scheduled to speak were awesome. I flew into Utah from Arizona two days early and got to sit down with Ben DeBow, founder and CEO of Fortified, along with Amy and her husband Jake Abel. We all had great conversation, and a good time hanging out all around. Friday was rehearsal and final prep with Amy, followed by the speaker dinner at Ben Miller’s office. I met Pat Wright who is one of the main orchestrators of the Day of Data event, along with Kellyn Gorman, Mike Wall and many other wonderful folks from all kinds of backgrounds.

Go Time

The day of the event was a fun, adrenaline-filled blur. Got there early in the morning, chatted with a few folks, then Amy and I went off to go do one final run through for our presentation. When it finally came time for us to present, I was setting up my laptop and I could swear I could hear my heart beating in my ears! It just hit me out of nowhere. All of the suppressed nerves came out and hit me all at once. My heart rate climbed and my breathing quickened. But I stopped, took a sip of water, and took a deep breath. Amy kicked us off and just like that we were on our way.

The funny thing is, nearly everything we rehearsed went out the window when we started presenting. Instead of the “you speak on this slide, I’ll speak on that slide” approach, we just started riffing. And you know what, it felt way more natural doing it that way.

Our session covered what DAGs are and when you’d use one, and we walked through a live demo of how to set one up for a migration purpose, and fail it over using PowerShell scripts I had created. I saw several people taking notes during the presentation, which let me know our material was resonating with the audience. The presentation went great. Demos worked, slides were functioning, people were engaged. I couldn’t have asked for a better first-time experience. Before we knew it, the hour long session was over, and I walked away feeling better than ever.

Something Better Than Presenting

The speaking itself was great. I’m hooked and I definitely want to do more events. However, there was something that happened at Day of Data that made it even more special for me. I was able to help people.

Several people sought me out with questions! Some were about DAGs, some were general DBA and SQL Server questions, and some were about career advice. It was gratifying and humbling to have others in the community ask for my thoughts and experience. I never thought I would or could be someone that people would want to ask for that type of advice from.

I love being able to help others. That’s why I started blogging. Beyond doing it for myself as a way to solidify and drive in understanding of a technical topic, if even one person finds a post or a piece of info that I share helpful, it’s all more than worth it. Being able to help others in person, on the spot, interact with others; that is what makes it exciting for me.

Final Thoughts

I absolutely love presenting and speaking. I couldn’t have done it without the encouragement and help of Amy. This whole experience has been invaluable for me and I’ve made so many great connections with some incredible people. This community really is great, and those that encourage and support others are the ones that make events like this so valuable.

If you’ve ever thought of speaking at an event, but have been too nervous to do so, you’re not alone. I was in that same boat. But I promise you it’s worth it, and I’m more than happy to help anyone out there gain that courage to take that opportunity and go speak, because the knowledge you have is valuable, and your perspective matters.

Special Note

Fortified makes WISdom which is a SQL Server monitoring tool with cost analysis and optimization that I use daily at work. It’s worth a look. No sponsorship or anything like that, I just like the tool and thought it worth mentioning.